Fan Mail From the Edge

(Just a few comments. We seem to have had an explosion of vitriol today which is gratifying in my quest to become the most popular non-midget-porn blog on the web. Interestingly enough, most of the negative comments come from a couple of ISP addresses in India. As to what I have done to offend the Indians over anybody else I am completely mystified.

My biggest surprise is the level of support you can get from the online community if you abuse and neglect your aged parent. Apparently there is no depravity that will not have it’s apologists. I also don’t quite get the anger at my ICU advice post. I challenge anyone to say that anything I wrote is not true. Surely anybody with the energy to type an abusive screed could find posts of mine more worthy of the haterade.

I am also amused by the “compassion police.” I feel sorry for them because whatever their level of compassion, they will be sorely tasked by the majority of their peers, most of whom are just not the plaster saints they expect them to be. -PB)

“The author cannot be blamed if they don’t have humor in your country.”

Bigoted? Check. Narcissistic? Check. Besserwisser? Check. Elitist, superior type A-hole personality? Check.

Funny? Hell no!

(No humor in your country? Check. -PB)

To be a doctor, you’d have to be human. And to be human, you’d have to have a heart.

So, uh… No, I guess you’re NOT a doctor. Happy to help.

(Uh…Okay. But my state board, is going to have a problem with that one. Especially since I am on the loose writing prescriptions. -PB)

How can people say this is the best blog on the internet? Come on, people, get with the program. Learn a little old school empathy and be excellent doctors without taking on an elitist attitude like this fat and mean poor excuse of a physician.

You really really scare me too. And remember, you say “my patients like me”, but keep in mind the fact that they ARE stupid. (Fat AND stupid AND lazy.)

So if they are stupid, and they actually like you, that would either make them blind AND deaf AND dumb, or maybe just maybe you are as stupid as them.

Eat that, fatwad.

(I prefer “stocky.” but thanks for reading my blog. -PB)

You are reading the blog of an arrogant know-it-all who is condescending and elitist. Please get your facts straight. Remember if you were not sucking up to him, he would hate your ass. Try poking him, you’ll see. Just like the rest of us, FAT, STUPID, LAZY types.

(Well, I didn’t delete your post, did I? -PB)

You are like the world’s worst gunner, dude!

(And the world’s most unsuccessful gunner, too, as you would know if you’ve read my blog for any length of time. -PB)

“Servile and compliant” is how you described Mr Neely’s son… But admit it, Pooh Bear, it turned you ON, didn’t it, didn’t it?! ;) It’s okay. Share. Share how that made you feel.

Your powerful stare, looking down at him, all dependent and needy and wanting… Aw, shucks, Panda! What a cute moment that must have been!

(I cannot understand your desire to stick up for a guy who was definitely neglecting and most likely abusing his father. It’s inexplicable, especially since the weak and powerless require someone, occasionally, to exercise a little judgementalism on their behalf and to exercise what little authority they have to protect them. I have my faults but neglecting to protect and assist the weak and helpless for fear of offending somebody’s bleeding heart ain’t one of them. You should be ashamed for expending more vitriol on harmless little me than you probably would in the face of obvious but garden-variety evil. But thanks for reading my blog and keeping the hit-counter turning. -PB)

Get this in YOUR head, *Panda* (if that is your name). You’re a self-aggrandizing, narcissistic, completely empathy-resistant (not to mention POOR) loser with no ability to budge or give other people the benefit of the doubt. Talk talk talk – that’s all that you’re about. Glad I’m not the son. OR the father, for that matter. How DO you sleep at night? Irritating mutha.

(Well, actually my name is Gus. I thought everybody with a few functioning neurons could tell that very few children are named “Panda Bear” by their parents. I guess in your humorless country it might sound like a real name. “Panda Bear,” by the way, was my radio call-sign when I was the mortar section leader in my Marine Corps rifle company. I also don’t uderstand why my being poor is an issue. I’m a resident. Of course I’m poor. It kind of goes with the territory. As always thanks for reading my blog. -PB)

You are just about the single most conceited person in the medical profession. *This is what you’re supposed to do blah blah….Why don’t you stick your little marine cap up your bum and choke on it? Do us aaaall a favor.

(Come on now. The most concieted? You obviously don’t know too many doctors. Oh, and I’d have to stick it up my bum pretty far to choke on it although I suppose it’s technically possible. -PB)

Dude, I am only human. Everybody has a cruel streak and I guarantee that if you told me a little about yourself I could easily pick out a group or two who’s misfortune you relish.”

See how he flips it?! Now it’s YOUR mistakes he’s after.

Doctor?? Hell, no! Choose politics instead. You’d be a natural.

(So what’s your point? Do you think that physicians are any less human than anybody else? Taking a morbid pleasure in other’s misfortune is so common that the Germans even coined a lovely word for it. If you think that by becoming a doctor you become emotionally celibate then you are in for a major disappointment in the the profession and most of your collegues. Now, you are obviously not immune to anger. I know for a fact that you would take great pleasure in any of my many misadventures in life if you were aware of them. So you’re sort of being a hypocrite, although since hypocrisy is the natural state of man I for one won’t get all worked up over your hypocrisy. You are who you are. As always, thanks for keeping the hit counter turning. -PB)

Can’t find it, Pooh Bear. You’re a bigot, and you always will be. :D I think you even spellt Dhaka wrong. But why would you even care enough about that? Silly me!

(There are, of course, many accepted ways to spell some city names (Bejing vs. Peking, Athina vs Athens) but to my knowledge, there is only one accepted way to spell “spelled.” Silly you. -PB)

“My main criticisms of this blog are its borderline plagarizing of “House of God” and the attempts by the author to mimic an experienced ER physician when he’s still a naive resident.”

(I have never read “House of God” or any other book about residency or medicine so it would be difficult for me to plagerize anything, borderline or otherwise. As for mimicking an experienced Emergency Physician, I am an Emergency Medicine resident so that’s what I write about. If you notice, most of my articles about the ED, of which I believe I only have three, are character studies, not emergency medicine textbooks. I am as qualified to comment on the character of patients as anyone, both because I have seen thousands of patients in the last four years and because I am reasonably intelligent and observant. The medical background of the patients is important to the narrative and where possible I try to be accurate. When I make a mistake invariably somebody will point it out and I will humbly acknowledge their correction. If I’m wrong about something I’m wrong. But you need to get it out of your head that I somehow don’t deserve to discuss things I learned on my ICU rotations because you think I’m not qualified to know these things.

I also am in no way naive in any sense of the word, either by age, upbringing, or life experiences. I think you’re confusing me with some other guy. I do not beat people over the head with my CV but I’ll do it if necessary.

Other than changing the names and a few characteristics of the patients to protect their privacy, I challenge you to find one instance where I have written anything which is not authentic. Or, for that matter, where I have not conceded that I am not perfect and still learning the profession. If I have to precede every statement with a disclaimer that I am only a PGY-2 and thus cannot speak for the entire medical profession it would be a very dreary, unreadable blog. I appreciate your taking the time to comment and your attention to my writing but the natural question is, if you find it so objectionable why do you inflict it upon yourself? -PB)

Fan Mail From the Edge

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